34 weeks check up

I had my regular two weeks check up this week and everything looked good. The midwife had a hard time trying to hear the baby’s heartbeat b/c he kept on moving around and around but after 15 minutes he gave up and let us listen for a little bit and she said it sounded good :) We have less than 6 weeks before he arrives and the closer the date approaches the more excited and nervous I feel. I still don’t understand why this is happening to us. The not knowing if he will survive or not is driving me crazy. This pregnancy has been really different from my previous two. I have not let myself enjoy it b/c I know I will get more attached to him and I know it will be more devastating if he dies. I’m still staying positive, but it is a very hard situation to live and go through. I have another appointment with the Perinatologist on Friday so we’ll see if we get better news :)